The 411 on me

Its been a while since I've posted. And again, through the request and encouragement of my blogger friends I'm sitting down to share the "low down" on me.

Honestly....it's a wild time in my life. I dont even know where to start really. We're still looking for houses. We have put in so many offers I can't even number them anymore. They all get outbid by others with a higher down payment. And the two that have been excepted somehow slipped through our fingers due to shadiness or technicalities. So... the search continues as interest rates rise.

Work is going good but tiring. I've recently had a client graduate from my program, which feels like a huge accomplishment on both of our parts. Now lets just hope that the parents keep up on the training. Thats always what nags at me. I know that half of the parents I work with will fall back into old routines after a certain amount of time without me in their house and the child will regress back to a certain degree. It sucks...but I can only do my part... My other clients are doing really well. I've even got my two year old client using sign language now. It took 4 months of constant bombardment but he's catching on. He can sign "more" "all done" and "help" and he is also catching on to PECS (picture exchange communication systems) to express his needs since he is non verbal at this time. So I think he and I are both feeling successful in that.

My anxiety has flared up again. I hate when this happens. Anxiety for me triggers other things, thoughts, and habits that I'd rather forget about... But...I suppose thats my body's way of saying I need to give it more love and attention. Today was actually my first appointment with a new counselor. The shitty thing is, is that she has taken over the office of my old counselor that passed away from cancer not too long ago. I knew I'd be in the same building but I was really hoping to not be in the same office. When she opened Kathy's old door all I could say was "shit". It was very odd walking in there again. I was honest with her and told her that it was tough being in the same room with her as I was with Kathy. Thankfully she has a great personality and I warmed up to her quickly. I used to judge myself for going to counseling, but now...I realize that I've been through a lot of really tough shit in my life, and to be the kind of person I want to be on a daily basis, to be the kind of professional I want to be, and to live the way I want to live...I just might have to drop in and talk to a counselor every once and I while. I mean shit...we all have issues...right? I haven't met a person alive that hasn't had something they've needed to process out with an objective person... So...as weird as it is being in that office again, I'm going to give it a shot.

Crys and I went camping last weekend up in Tahoe. It was really nice to get away. We went up friday and came back sunday. There is something really relaxing about staring into a fire on a cold black night. We took Pickle with us (the new dog) she was covered in sap after the first 10 minutes but she seemed to enjoy herself. I was ready to come home on sunday and take a shower but sad at the same time when we had to leave.

Crys just recently was informed that her position was going to be cut to half time. That has been a HUGE stressor. After two days of panicing she got news that there was probably going to be funding to keep her at full time, but we wont know until the end of the week. If she went to half time life as we know it would change drastically! Especially with me cutting back work so I can go back to school yet again... So...here's hoping that there's funding for her position.

My sister-in-laws baby shower is this weekend so I have to make the drive down to fresno on Friday to help my mom set up and cook for it. I really hate that drive. Two hours on the 99 is no fun. Plus spending the night there is always anxiety provoking. Especially now that she knows about Crys and a emanate argument is always just around the corner, but...this is for my sister in law and for my little niece that is going to enter the world soon...so Its worth it.

So...thats about it in a nut shell. I'm sure I could go on and on, but I will spare you my friends and readers. I'm sorry for not getting to your pages as often as I would like to but so much has been going on lately. I feel like I'm on a high wire without a net below me. I have very few friends with the mental and emotional maturity to talk to about this stuff, my family has pretty much dropped me since coming out, and Crys is very stressed about work, which leaves me very tired at the end of the day.

I truly hope you are all doing well, and please know that even thought I may not get to the pages I think about my blogger buddies on a daily basis.
Hugs to you all!